A couple weeks ago a friend of mine said I attract and am attracted to those with strong personalities. This goes without saying since I feel like I have strong opinions on things myself. If I believe something I tend to stand by it. I let go of this part of me in a previous relationship, but am happy to return. The interaction I have with people now days are usually positive ones. My only hang up now days is that I could get emotionally attached to people, mostly if I know they are only in my life for a little bit. That is one thing I need to learn is to give people space. It’s not like I won’t see my friends again in the future, right? I tend to have a lot of mood swings lately. Very up and down. Mostly up. But at night it’s a little bit hard since I am alone and have a lot more time for my head to go into space. I try to vent or talk to people to help sort my brain out. I just don’t want to continue into any unhealthy habits. I try to reflect on positive things as much as possible. I purposely add positive Instagram accounts to keep me going. So with that said, I think I will be ok 🙂
Since about April I have been having these weird dreams of all my friends running and jumping through hills. It’s been a weird few months. It’s almost everyone who I love is on the same wavelength as far as hopes and dreams go. I was talking to a friend a few weeks ago about how a lot of people in there 20s and 30s are getting back to nature. Despite being on our iphones we are capturing beauty and our little adventures. For years I expressed wanting to live on a farm one day and travel around to see the things I haven’t seen before. I am only 32 and want to see ALL the things. I have met many people who are doing this and/or dream of doing this. It boggles my mind on how this is happening and where all these folks are coming from.
I am not a city person by all means and I am slowly going back to my “roots”. I grew up with a grandpa who would wake up early and hitch a ride to the woods. This man I lost 6 years ago and miss him everyday. He told me that he spoke to God in the woods. I honestly believe that is the time that I feel energy the most. Before my grandpa had grandsons he would teach me things like fishing and wood carving. Basically, using your hands to craft things. In my job I kinda use this skill when things break…I fix them.
-Lady In Black ❤
Sometimes it takes months to remember your true self. 3 months later I am glad to see me again. Healing takes time but I feel stronger everyday. Thank you friends. Sorry if I can be a little too much sometimes. It’s part of the process. Learning to be independent and finding my true self. I am not as horrible as I was brain washed to believe. I am a compassionate person who might just love too much. It’s ok though. It’s not bad to feel. It’s ok to cry. It’s ok to imagine. It’s ok not to grow up totally. Always dream kids.